I am Kevin. I proudly served my country from 2004 to 2021. I have PTSD. At this point you are probably already thinking, “oh great”, one more website, and you would be correct, up to a point. My story however is a little different. My goal is not to have a perfect, snazzy, one stop solution that will solve the problem if you will only do a/b/c. Anyone who has or knows someone with PTSD, knows that is just not how it works. I will share a little bit of how the mind feels and the need to retrain the brain is needed. A process that is working for me led me to want to provide this, another avenue for support and the ability to keep moving forward. After years of struggling and just sitting with my mind literally swirling with untamed and unmanageable thoughts people close to me were encouraging me to take up a hobby.

One afternoon as I sat watching my mother knit, I said, “I want to make a quilt”. As one of my most avid supporters, she suggested that while a wonderful goal, it was quite lofty. She suggested the first step would be to be able to sew a simple stitch. Issues with focus and fine motor skills immediately came to mind to discourage me and I said I could not do it. With a couple pieces of scrap fabric, Mom showed me how to thread a needle and make a line of stitches; one at a time. I made a few of these and was hooked. I wanted to sew something “real” so I took an old favorite t-shirt and made a pillow out of it. WOW – I was so proud. This segued to sewing a pair of old torn board shorts into a pillow – with pockets. I made a pair and put a little prize in the pocket. All of this could be done easily and quickly with a sewing machine, but that IS NOT the point!!!

Each hand made pillow tells a different story. The stitches are not perfect, the lines not completely straight. Looking back I can say, that was a good day or yikes, that was a bad day. I also realized that when my PTSD and anxiety was at its worse, if I picked up my needle and sewed for a while, I calmed down. I am hopeful that as these pillows make their way into your homes and hearts they will be reminders of both suffering and healing. Someone once said, “don’t walk a mile in my shoes, spend five minutes in my brain and you will go bat crap crazy”. We laugh at this, but for many people out there it is a reality. Let’s work together to change that reality: (One stitch at a time).